Tallulah Bankhead Quotes

Here's a rule I recommend. Never practice two vices at once.

It's one of the tragic ironies of the theatre that only one man in it can count on steady work — the night watchman.

I'm as pure as the driven slush.

There's less in this than meets the eye.

Nobody can be exactly like me. Sometimes even I have trouble doing it.

I'll come and make love to you at five o'clock. If I'm late, start without me.

I read Shakespeare and the Bible, and I can shoot dice. That's what I call a liberal education.

Going down on a woman gives me a stiff neck, going down on a man gives me lockjaw, and conventional sex gives me claustrophobia.

My father warned me about men and booze, but he never mentioned a word about women and cocaine.

Only good girls keep diaries. Bad girls don't have the time.

I don’t know what I want. Nobody knows — or if they do, they don’t know for long. I mean, you don’t want the same thing long enough for it to be What You Want From Life in capital letters. Well, maybe some people do. Maybe there's a few simple folks — or maybe a few million, I don't know — who fix their hearts, and their minds, and their everlasting souls on a thing, and keep on all their lives hoping for it. Living for it. Wanting It From Life. But these are the people who never get it.

I have three phobias which, could I mute them, would make my life as slick as a sonnet, but as dull as ditch water — I hate to go to bed, I hate to get up, and I hate to be alone.

The cynic says "blessed is he who expecteth nothing, for he shall not be disappointed." I say "blessed is he who expecteth everything, for he can't always be disappointed."

Let's not quibble! I'm the foe of moderation, the champion of excess. If I may lift a line from a die-hard whose identity is lost in the shuffle, "I'd rather be strongly wrong than weakly right."

The only thing I regret about my past is the length of it. If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner.