"Weird Al" Yankovic Quotes

My brothers and sisters all hated me 'cause I was an only child.

If money can't buy happiness, I guess I'll have to rent it.

Many years ago I found out something about hamburgers that really grossed me out. You may not know this, so I hope I don't make you sick, but it turns out hamburgers are actually made out of dead cows. I am not making this up. Needless to say, as soon as I discovered that, I gave up meat entirely.

Right now I'm listening to a lot of Top 40 music, because THAT'S MY JOB.

I think my chances of getting into the Rock 'N' Roll Hall Of Fame are about as good as Milli Vanilli's.

What kind of bananas do you have working at newspapers in Austin that would base an entire review of an artist's performance on whether or not they had a good seat?

I have very mixed feelings about [Napster]. On one hand, I'm concerned that the rampant downloading of my copyright-protected material over the Internet is severely eating into my album sales and having a decidedly adverse effect on my career. On the other hand, I can get all the Metallica songs I want for FREE! WOW!!!!!

I wrote "Eat It" because I wanted to buy a banana boat for Christmas. It worked.

Alanis Morissette and I actually used to date. I especially liked it when we went to the movies.