"Weird Al" Yankovic Quotes

I have very mixed feelings about [Napster]. On one hand, I'm concerned that the rampant downloading of my copyright-protected material over the Internet is severely eating into my album sales and having a decidedly adverse effect on my career. On the other hand, I can get all the Metallica songs I want for FREE! WOW!!!!!

We only torture the folks we don't like You're probably gonna be okay.

Shoppin' online for deals on some writable media I edit Wikipedia

I notice you're not wearing any... galloshes ;)

That's something the kids should know about. Reading is a gateway to witchcraft and lesbianism.

I'm an ugly girl,
My face makes you hurl,
Sad I have it,
I should bag it.
Acne everywhere,
Unwanted facial hair.
I'm a relation to Frankenstein's creation.

Why of course it's unlikely!' I said. 'Oh, by far!
The awesome-est things in the world often are!

Alanis Morissette and I actually used to date. I especially liked it when we went to the movies.

I sued Taco Bell 'Cause I ate half a million Chalupas And I got fat! I sued Panasonic They never said I shouldn't use their microwave To dry off my cat!

I'll never forget the first thing she said to me, she said: "Hey - you've got weasels on your face." Right then I knew it was true love.

Hey, you've got weasels on your face.

I'm nerdy in the extreme Whiter than sour cream

Never had a date That you couldn't inflate

Right now I'm listening to a lot of Top 40 music, because THAT'S MY JOB.

If money can't buy happiness, I guess I'll have to rent it.