Top 15 "Weird Al" Yankovic Quotes

I'm an ugly girl,
My face makes you hurl,
Sad I have it,
I should bag it.
Acne everywhere,
Unwanted facial hair.
I'm a relation to Frankenstein's creation.

That's something the kids should know about. Reading is a gateway to witchcraft and lesbianism.

I don't really look at myself as the kind of person who craves attention, but I've never been to therapy so there's probably a lot of stuff about myself that I don't know.

I notice you're not wearing any... galloshes ;)

I'll bet every great thinker and leader we've got
Could see all kinds of things other people could not!
So then why get upset if somebody like me
Tries to look at the world just a bit differently?

Hey, you've got weasels on your face.

Why of course it's unlikely!' I said. 'Oh, by far!
The awesome-est things in the world often are!

We only torture the folks we don't like You're probably gonna be okay.

Never had a date That you couldn't inflate

Oh, you don't wanna mess with the R-I-double-A They'll sue you if you burn that CD-R It doesn't matter if you're a grandma, or a seven-year-old girl They'll treat you like the evil, hard-bitten, criminal scum you are

I sued Taco Bell 'Cause I ate half a million Chalupas And I got fat! I sued Panasonic They never said I shouldn't use their microwave To dry off my cat!

I'm nerdy in the extreme Whiter than sour cream

Shoppin' online for deals on some writable media I edit Wikipedia

Look
If you had
one shot
to sit on your lazy butt
and watch all the TV you ever wanted
until your brain turned to mush
Would you go for it?
or just let it slip?
Yo

I'll never forget the first thing she said to me, she said: "Hey - you've got weasels on your face." Right then I knew it was true love.