Will Rogers Quotes

See they conducted experiments on convicts ... I don't know on what grounds they reason a man in jail is a bigger liar than one out of jail ... The chances are telling the truth is what got him there ... It would be a big aid to humanity, it will never be, for already the politicians are up in arms against it ... It would wreck the very foundation on which our political government is run ... If you ever injected truth into politics you'd have no politics ... Even the ministers are denouncing it now ... Humanity is not yet ready for either real truth or real harmony.

A man that don’t love a horse, there is something the matter with him.

There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.

What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds.

We'll show the world we are prosperous if we have to go broke to do it.

Lord, the money we do spend on Government and it's not one bit better than the government we got for one-third the money twenty years ago.

The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself.

Even if you are on the right track, but just sit there, you will still get run over.

A man that don't love a Horse, there is something the matter with him. If he has no sympathy for the man that does love Horses, then there is something worse the matter with him.

Everyone is ignorant, only on different subjects.

Democrats never agree on anything, that's why they're Democrats. If they agreed with each other, they would be Republicans.

You've never in your life seen a picture, I bet any one of you, never seen a picture of one of these old Pilgrims praying when they didn't have a gun right by the side of them. That was to see that he got what he was praying for.

If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.

The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has.

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.