If it’s the last kiss, we’d better make it last. I hope you don’t have anywhere to be, because I have the rest of my life free. - Jarod Kintz

I’ll never go hungry, because I’m a pet owner and a meat eater. I used to own broccoli, but taking it for a walk in the park didn’t work out so well.

I’m an only child, so logically I gave birth to my parents, because if it weren’t for me they wouldn’t be parents at all, they’d simply be a married couple. (Or maybe without me they wouldn’t even have been married!)

No matter how much water a sink takes on, it never lives up to its name. The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink.