Too often we decide very early whether we agree or disagree with someone or with an idea, without making an effort to truly understand the person or … - James E. Ryan

Asking “Wait, what?” is also a good way to avoid jumping to conclusions or making snap judgments. Too often we decide very early whether we agree or disagree with someone or with an idea, without making an effort to truly understand the person or the point.

Wait, what?” is at the root of all understanding. “I wonder . . . ?” is at the heart of all curiosity. “Couldn’t we at least . . . ?” is the beginning of all progress. “How can I help?” is at the base of all good relationships. And “What truly matters?” helps get you to the heart of life.

Couldn’t we at least . . . ?” is a good way to get unstuck. It is a way to get past disagreement to form some consensus, as in, “Couldn’t we at least agree?” It’s also a way to get started even when you’re not entirely sure where you will finish, as in: “Couldn’t we at least begin?” No matter its specific form, asking questions that begin with “Couldn’t we at least . . . ?” is the way to make progress.

How can I help?” If you start with this question, you are asking, with humility, for direction. You are recognizing that others are experts in their own lives, and you are affording them the opportunity to remain in charge, even if you are providing some help.