To seek approval is to have no resting place, no sanctuary. Like all judgment, approval encourages a constant striving. It makes us uncertain of who we are and of our true value.

Denial is also the instinctual impulse to reject or discount information that calls into question our hopes, assumptions, or expectations about the future.

Denial is the largely unconscious habit of thought whereby we refuse to accept the reality of things that are bad or upsetting—or that challenge our world view, our legacy, how we live, what is required of us, and/or our feelings of self-worth or superiority.

If a favour is asked of you, grant it if you can. If not, refuse it in such a manner as that one denial may be sufficient.

The purpose of denial is to destroy truth and memory. The denial of the genocide against the Tutsi causes the gravest offence to survivors.

Change isn’t made by asking permission. Change is made by asking forgiveness, later.

We express denial in our lives when we avoid certain people or issues and when we see things only as we want them to be rather than to accept them as they are. Underneath every denial pattern is the underlying fear that we will not be able to handle conflict and a deep human need to maintain peace, balance, and harmony at all costs. In deep denial we will abandon ourselves to keep the peace rather than communicate our feelings directly. (p81)

It is better to ask for an apology than to ask for permission.

When we approve of people, we sit in judgment of them as surely as when we criticize them. ...To seek approval is to have no resting place, no sanctuary. Like all judgment, approval encourages a constant striving. It makes us uncertain of who we are and of our true value. This is as true of the approval we give ourselves as it is of the approval we offer others. Approval can't be trusted. It can be withdrawn at any time no matter what our track record has been. It is as nourishing of real growth as cotton candy. Yet many of us spend our lives pursuing it.

Needing approval is a female cultural disease, and often a sign of doing the wrong thing.

Self-denial is indulgence of a propensity to forego.

Genocide denial is a dangerous and deliberate attempt to block the truth.

It's better to ask forgiveness than permission.
- Brom

If you wish to attain holy recollection, you will do so not by receiving but by denying.