When you are reacting to the other person, that person owns the frame. When the other person is reacting to what you do and say, you own the frame. - Oren Klaff

When you are responding ineffectively to things the other person is saying and doing, that person owns the frame, and you are being frame-controlled.

The alpha enjoys most of the attention in a social interaction, even when he’s not demanding it. And when he does demand it, the alpha captures the group’s attention immediately. When he makes a statement, it’s regarded as true, and the claims go unchallenged. There’s plenty of evidence to suggest that the alpha in a group is trusted and followed without question.

(frames create context and relevance; as we will see, the person who owns the frame owns the conversation).

To instigate a power frame collision, use a mildly shocking but not unfriendly act to cause it. Use defiance and light humor. This captures attention and elevates your status by creating something called “local star power.” (You will read about creating status and local star power in Chapter 3.)