Benjamin P. Hardy Quotes

Thus, it’s not free will or determinism. It’s not choice or environments. Instead, it is choice and environment. More directly, it is the choice of environment. You are responsible for shaping and choosing the environments that will ultimately shape the person you become and the destiny you have. Environmental design is your greatest responsibility. Choosing and shaping your environment is at the center of what “free will” really means, because your choice of environment and external influences will directly reflect in the person you become.

The fastest way to move forward in life is not doing more. It starts with stopping the behaviors holding you back.

Although the dominant view, determinism was extremely limiting and negative. If a person had a lot of problems, those problems could only be explained by their past. And sadly, the main objective of psychology was simply to explain the problems, not solve them.

The opposite of addiction is connection. Actually, addiction is the manifestation of having a lack of healthy human connections. Addiction is the product of isolation and loneliness, and it creates a downward spiral that creates even more isolation and loneliness. Addictions therapist Craig Nakken describes the inner psychology of having an addiction: “There is little in the person’s life that is permanent and doesn’t pertain to the addiction. The person has become totally afraid of intimacy and stays away from any sign of it. Addicts frequently believe others are the cause of their problems. They think people can’t understand them. Thus, people are to be avoided…the aloneness and isolation create a center that is craving emotional connection with others…the Addict wants to be alone, but the Self is terribly afraid of being alone.

Effectiveness is doing the right things, while efficiency is doing things right. Effectiveness must always come first, then efficiency. System design is about automating and outsourcing your desired results. Give yourself the space to put your attention and energy where you want. The goal is to off-load your mental and physical plate.

"When someone proactively labels themselves an "introvert" or even an "extrovert," they've officially made themself "dumber" — unless for some reason one of those labels will enable them to achieve a particular goal."

The more you put your Future Self in debt in terms of health, learning, finances, and time, the more painful and costly will be the eventual toll. There will be a lot of interest to pay if you continually accrue debt. Everything you do can be categorized as either a cost to or an investment in your Future Self. Costing your Future Self means you’re more focused on present or short-term rewards over long-term consequences. Costing your Future Self means you’re consuming far more than you’re creating. Every little action adds up. A cost makes you less healthy in some way, whether mentally, emotionally, spiritually, relationally, or physically. If repeated, costs make you fatter, lazier, hazier, and less connected. A cost is something that comes to control you, rather than you controlling it.

The reason the hedonic treadmill exists is because people aren’t taught how to be happy.

Momentary pleasure and true happiness are two very different experiences. As scientist and spiritual leader James Talmage wrote, “Happiness leaves no bad after-taste, it is followed by no depressing reaction; it brings no regret, entails no remorse. True happiness is lived over and over again in memory, always with a renewal of the original good; a moment of pleasure may leave a barbed sting, [as] an ever-present source of anguish.” Ancient philosophies such as stoicism and spiritual beliefs such as Buddhism and Christianity fundamentally oppose a hedonistic approach to life. Embracing challenges, pain, and difficulty are among the primary paths to meaning and growth according to these perspectives. Rather than a hedonistic worldview, ancient philosophy and most spiritual perspectives embrace a eudemonic worldview, which advocates seeking a virtuous and meaningful life of growth and contribution.

As psychologist Brent Slife states in Time and Psychological Explanation (italics mine): We reinterpret or reconstruct our memory in light of what our mental set is in the present. In this sense, it is more accurate to say the present causes the meaning of the past, than it is to say that the past causes the meaning of the present . . . Our memories are not “stored” and “objective” entities but living parts of ourselves in the present. This is the reason our present moods and future goals so affect our memories.

Humility, gratitude, and recognition of your blessings keeps your success in proper perspective. You couldn’t do what you’ve without the help of countless other people. You are extremely lucky to be able to contribute in the way you have.

Commitment to Future Self means investing in loss or failure here and now to accelerate progress.

Focus on growth, not on status.

As Joe Polish frequently states, “Life gives to the givers and takes from the takers.” Consequently, once registered and paid, I immediately signed up to speak at the next small-group meeting in Arizona. I hired and worked extensively with Joel Weldon, a public speaking coach, to ensure I delivered my best strategies in the most effective way. I wanted my talk to be so easy and actionable that people would be naturally motivated to implement the principles. I used my journal as a visualization tool, in addition to several sessions with Joel.

It will also require you to be honest about your values, beliefs, and goals. If you can’t be honest with others about who you are and who you want to be, your relationships will be shallow. You should surround yourself with people who love you enough to hold you to a high standard. Sometimes that means you’ll let these people down. But if you can communicate honestly, people are very understanding. There is absolutely nothing more important in life than other people. Nothing. Not even the brilliant and impactful work you will do. Especially with your spouse, children, immediate family, and close friends — those relationships are where your deepest joy and meaning can and should come. Those relationships are what drive you to be and do your best in life. They can serve as an incredible motivator. As for myself, my wife and three children are the reason I have purposefully shaped my life and environment the way I have. My primary goal in life is to provide well for them and to make them proud.