if you were to be loved be loveable

You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

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من همراه شش برادرم بزرگ شدم؛ اين‌طوری بود كه رقص ياد گرفتم: در انتظار خالی شدن توالت.
- باب هوپ / كمدين آمريكايی

Culture is the ability to describe Jane Russell without moving your hands

A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?

Never had so little done so much for so many.

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When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.

Instead of taking a quiet nap as I should have been doing, I spent the afternoon in a teeming anthill of cutthroats, pickpockets, and shady characters who'd committed every crime in the book. Including one I couldn't forgive them for - no one asked me for my autograph.

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When we recall Christmas past, we usually find that the simplest things - not the great occasions - give off the greatest glow of happiness.

If you haven't any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble.

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned how to dance- waiting for the bathroom.

My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?