Fran Lebowitz Quotes

There's no such thing as advice to the lovelorn. If they took advice, they wouldn't be lovelorn.

Original thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you could not possibly have met.

Sleep is death without the responsibility.

There is one thing that has disappeared, not just from the U.S. but from the entire world, is the idea of ever being embarrassed by anything.

Very few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to irritate the situation by making an effort. If you have a burning, restless urge to write or paint, simply eat something sweet and the feeling will pass. Your life story would not make a good book. Do not even try.

I never met anyone who didn't have a very smart child. What happens to these children, you wonder, when they reach adulthood?

Having been unpopular in high school is not just cause for book publications.

To me the outdoors is what you must pass through in order to get from your apartment into a taxicab.

The most common error made in matters of appearance is the belief that one should disdain the superficial and let the true beauty of one’s soul shine through. If there are places on your body where this is a possibility, you are not attractive – you are leaking.

It's much easier to write a solemn book than a funny book. It's harder to make people laugh than it is to make them cry. People are always on the verge of tears.

Reading is better than life. Without reading, you're stuck with life.

I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not.

I do not believe in God. I believe in cashmere.

Think before you speak, read before you think.

Magazines all too frequently lead to books and should be regarded by the prudent as the heavy petting of literature.