Garrison Keillor Quotes

How many therapists does it take to change a lightbulb? How many therapists do you think it takes to change a lightbulb?

Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head.

Kitap, tekrar tekrar açabileceğiniz bir hediyedir.

I think the most un-American thing you can say is, “You can't say that.”

I’ve put away the clock and now I enjoy the time.

The word “loser” is spoken with such contempt these days, a man might like to forget the losses in his own life that taught him something about good judgment. The money he invested in that casino in Atlantic City that went bust, the university course he enrolled in that promised to teach him the secrets of success but instead he wound up unemployed and 40 grand in debt, the candidate whose hat he wore who turned out to be tone-deaf and deluded — dumb, dumb, dumb, and yet his loved ones did not chortle and point and do the nyaa-nyaa. They put an arm around him and said, “This is how we learn.” And it is.

He (coach) looks for size, speed being rare among Norwegians and Germans, and for malleability or what he calls attitude.

The living wander away, we don’t hear from them for months, years — but the dead move in with us to stay.

If you can't trust your can open, then what?

Demagogues thrive in dim light.

It's a shallow life that doesn't give a person a few scars.

Going to church no more making you a Christian than standing in a garage makes you a car.

"Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.” — Garrison Keillor

But he got it from Billy Sunday...
"Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile." — Billy Sunday

Billy Sunday, William Thomas Ellis (1917). “Billy Sunday, the Man and His Message: With His Own Words which Have Won Thousands for Christ"

It's important for survival that children have their own experiences, the kind they learn from. The kind their parents arrange for are not as useful. Good parents are the hardest to get rid of.

A girl in a bikini is like having a loaded gun on your coffee table- There's nothing wrong with them, but it's hard to stop thinking about.