American novelist and short-story writer (1925–2015)
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Great lovers lie in hell, the poet says. Even now, long afterwards, I cannot destroy the images. They remain within me like the yearnings of an addict. I need only hear certain words, see certain gestures, and my thoughts begin to tumble. I despise myself for thinking of her. Even if she were dead, I would feel the same. Her existence blackens my life.
We preserve ourselves as if that were important, and always at the expense of others. We hoard ourselves. We succeed if they fail, we are wise if they are foolish, and we go onward, clutching, until there is no one — we are left with no companion save God. In whom we do not believe. Who we know does not exist.
When Vivian began to recover they brought her a fluted glass vase with an arrangement of lilies and yellow roses from the flower shop on Eighteenth Street owned by an elegant man Arthur had once been involved with, Christos, who was friends with both of them. He, too, loved the theater and everything about it. Later he opened a restaurant.
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«Pero el conocimiento no te protege. La vida desprecia el conocimiento, lo obliga a esperar sentado en la antesala, a esperar fuera. Pasión, energía, mentiras: eso es lo que la vida admira. No obstante, todo es soportable si la humanidad entera observa. Lo demuestran los mártires. Vivimos dentro de la atención ajena. Nos volvemos hacia ella como flores hacia el sol.
No hay una vida completa. Hay sólo fragmentos. Hemos nacido para no tener nada, para que todo se nos pierda entre los dedos. Y, sin embargo, esta pérdida, este diluvio de encuentros, luchas, sueños... hay que ser irreflexivo, como una tortuga. Hay que ser resuelto, ciego. Pues cualquier cosa que hagamos, incluso que no hagamos, nos impide hacer la cosa opuesta. Los actos demuelen sus alternativas, he aquí la paradoja. La vida, por tanto, consiste en elecciones, cada cual definitiva y de poca trascendencia, como tirar piedras al mar. Hemos tenido hijos, pensó; nunca podremos no tener hijos. Hemos sido mesurados, jamás sabremos lo que es despilfarrar nuestra vida…»