Karl Pilkington Quotes

At some point, somethin has had it away with a leaf [Karl's explanation of an insect which has evolved to look like a leaf to protect itself from predators]

Does the brain control you or are you controlling the brain? I don't know if I'm in charge of mine.

On dopplegangers - No because only it would only get me into trouble won't it? Because people won't believe there's another one like me. Otherwise everyone would be saying that when they get caught robbing, they go Oh it wasn't me it was me doppleganger.

On dopplegangers - How would I know which one I was?

On identical twins - You always get a little snidey one.

We came from the sea originally, now we're going back in it. Don't go in it, unless you're in a boat.

You know how they say people have six senses? There's loads more than that. [The ability to feel someone looking at you], that's been around since man and dinosaur were knockin' about.

Why didn't evolution make a giraffe good at carpentry so it could build a ladder?

If I was Noah, I would have gone, Hang on a minute, I've just seen somethin' that looks a bit like this, let it drown, have a bit of a clear out, but he was messin' about savin' everythin'

If anythin', like I said, he didn't do us a favour, he saved too much. You can't move out there for stuff (Referring to Noah saving every animal)

Stop looking at the walls, look out the window.

All I'm saying is that old people need to be old people. You need oldness. You need to see old people. You need to go Right, they might have a solution they've been on the earth longer. Quick, we need an answer. How old are yer? - I'm 32 - Well you look 78!

By 78 you've done everything you're going to do. If you haven't bungee-jumped by the time you're 78 you're not going to do it.

Well...like, when you're born, you're a little baby, you're wrinkly and stuff, when you get older you sort of morph into a baby again...

That's the problem with them fables, they're putting animals together that wouldn't meet. I don't know where a scorpion is knockin' around with a frog.