Karl Pilkington Quotes

English television personality, social commentator, actor, author and former radio producer

Karl Pilkington (born 23 September 1972) is an English podcaster, author and former radio producer.

From: Wikiquote (CC BY-SA 4.0)

We're just a weed in the universe

Treat the world like a head

The Elephant Man would never have gotten up and gone, ‘Oh, God. Look at me hair today.’

The first time you watch it you'll probably cry a bit. The second time you watch it you will probably think - boy that would be bad having a head like that being picked on - the third time you are probably thinking, er, how does he get his jumper on, er, then dunno probably bored of it the fourth time. But, but it's well worth watching.

That's what I'm saying about Christmas, I might not be in the mood for it; December 25th

As long as you're rememberin' baby Jesus, does it matter when you're rememberin' 'im[Karl on how he hates Christmas being the same date each year]

I wouldn't put a date on that pancake day anyway, just av 'em when you want, have it when you want. There's no big deal. You've got to make 'em yourself, it's not like some place is openin' to do it. Have em when you want. I don't know why that's got a special day on it,sick-of-it

Say if I was in charge and someone said that buildin' needs knockin' down, it's dangerous, if we didn't have a calendar we'd go 'erm let's do it now then.' Whereas cos we've got a calendar it's easy to say...'next Wednesday'

It's just easier to put stuff off once we've got this calendar, whereas if we didnt have a date you'd have to do everythin' straight away

(On Ricky asking him to do a diary next year)No I wouldn't, you know, cos you do the same stuff ever year don't ya? It's set up the same way: January, February it's the same thing, it's the same routine

If you don't sleep you get run down. Sloths never get a flu, cos its good innit thats when your body's replemishing

I find that if you just talk, your mouth comes up with stuff.

Karl: I came up with a good idea....see through skin

He got hot, he got so hot his lips fell off.

Karl's diary - Woke up at 9.55am. Soon as I woke up, I looked at Suzanne and she looked at me. I said, Did I tell you about the immune system? Suzanne starting laughing, I said it's amazing. She said, Not now.