László Krasznahorkai Quotes

I would leave everything here: the valleys, the hills, the paths, and the jaybirds from the gardens, I would leave here the petcocks and the padres, heaven and earth, spring and fall, I would leave here the exit routes, the evenings in the kitchen, the last amorous gaze, and all of the city-bound directions that make you shudder, I would leave here the thick twilight falling upon the land, gravity, hope, enchantment, and tranquility, I would leave here those beloved and those close to me, everything that touched me, everything that shocked me, fascinated and uplifted me, I would leave here the noble, the benevolent, the pleasant, and the demonically beautiful, I would leave here the budding sprout, every birth and existence, I would leave here incantation, enigma, distances, inexhaustibility, and the intoxication of eternity; for here I would leave this earth and these stars, because I would take nothing with me from here, because I've looked into what's coming, and I don't need anything from here.” — László Krasznahorkai

... to pour out one's heart and not drink vodka at the same time, well, that is inconceivable for a Russian soul...

În liniștea ce cuprinse dintr-o dată totul, în muțenia profundă în care până și stropii de ploaie plesneau fără zgomot când atingeau pământul, ei crezând că au asurzit, întrucât de simțit simțeau, dar de auzit nu puteau să audă deloc nici vâjâitul vântului, nici acea adiere ciudată, călduță care acum îi atinse ușor, totuși, lui i se păru c-ar auzi cum zbârnâitul necontenit și râsul răsunător de adineauri sunt brusc înlocuite de un chelălăit și răsună sforăituri sinistre, văzând chiar că pornesc după el, astfel că-și acoperi ochii cu brațul și izbucni în plâns. „Vezi asta?” șopti încremenit Irimias, strângând atât de puternic brațul lui Petrina, încât i s-au albit degetele. În jurul trupului se înteți vântul, iar în liniștea deplină cadavrul de un alb orbitor începu să se ridice incert... apoi, când ajunse la înălțimea vârfurilor stejarilor se clătină pe neașteptate, prăbușindu-se convulsiv, ca să ajungă, în final, din nou pe pământ, în mijlocul poieniței. Văzând ce se întâmplă, vocile lipsite de trup de adineauri au început să se certe furios, asemenea unui cor nemulțumit, care iar se vedea nevoit să-și asume un eșec, fără să fi avut vreo vină. Petrina gâfâi. „Tu ai crezut asta?” „Mă strădui să cred”, spuse Irimias, cu fața lividă. „Oare de când tot încearcă? Copila-i moartă de două zile.” „Petrina, poate-i prima dată în viața mea când simt că mi-e frică.” „Cumetre...pot să te întreb ceva?” „Tu ce crezi...?” „Ce cred...?” „Tu ce crezi...ăăă...există și iad...?” Irimias înghiți în sec. „Cine știe. Poate.

The light gave him hope but he was afraid of it too.

It is not always necessary to search for the cause behind everything, because every cause is unfounded. A cause only looks like a cause from a certain viewpoint.

I'm not interested to believe in something, but to understand the people who believe.

(...)de tal manera que no sólo apareciera la imagen, sino la realidad misma de la perfección paradisíaca que, aun dando la impresión de mostrar un mar inquieto, olas arremolinadas en torno a rocas salvajes, sumía a quien la veía en la inconmensurable simplicidad de la belleza, en la sensación de que todo existe y nada existe todavía, de que las cosas y procesos que viven a una velocidad inasible y terrible, encerrados en la necesidad aparentemente inagotable del alumbramiento y la desaparición, pueden soportar aun así una regularidad fascinante que es tan profunda como la impotencia de las palabras ante un paisaje incomprensible e inaccesible por su hermosura, como la fría secuencia de las miríadas de olas en la enorme extensión del océano, como un patio en un monasterio donde en la calma de una superficie cubierta uniformemente con guijarros blancos y rastrillada primorosamente pueden posarse y descansar unos ojos asustados, una mirada perdida en el delirio, una mente abatida, y experimentar cómo cobra vida de pronto un pensamiento antiquísimo de contenido ya ensombrecido y cómo comienza a verse de súbito que: sólo existe el todo, no los detalles.

...and it really was extremely sudden, the way it struck him that, good heavens, he understood nothing, nothing at all about anything, for Christ's sake, nothing at all about the world, which was a most terrifying realization, he said, especially the way it came to him in all its banality, vulgarity, at a sickeningly ridiculous level, but this was the point, he said, the way that he, at age 44, had become aware of how utterly stupid he seemed to himself, how empty, how utterly blockheaded he had been in his understanding of the world these last 44 years, for, as he realized by the river, he had not only misunderstood it, but had not understood anything about anything, the worst part being that for 44 years he thought he had understood it, while in reality he had failed to do so; and this in fact was the worst thing of all that night of his birthday when he sat alone by the river, the worst because the fact that he now realized that he had not understood it did not mean that he did understand it now, because being aware of his lack of knowledge was not in itself some new form of knowledge for which an older one could be traded in, but one that presented itself as a terrifying puzzle the moment he thought about the world, as he most furiously did that evening, all but torturing himself in an effort to understand it and failing, because the puzzle seemed ever more complex and he had begun to feel that this world-puzzle that he was so desperate to understand, that he was torturing himself trying to understand, was really the puzzle of himself and the world at once, that they were in effect one and the same thing, which was the conclusion he had so far reached, and he had not yet given up on it, when, after a couple of days, he noticed that there was something the matter with his head.

The unchained workers of decay were waiting in a dormant state for the necessary conditions to be established, as soon enough they would be, when they might recommence their interrupted struggle, that predetermined, merciless assault in the course of which they would dismantle whatever had been alive once and once only, reducing it into tiny insignificant pieces under the eternally silent cover of death.

كانت روحه محطمة لكنها ظلت ترعى أملًا غامضًا

He heard hundreds of exhausted feet scraping the ground behind him, he saw the stray cats at his own feet as they scattered in fear before the silently advancing mass of raised iron stakes, but he felt nothing except the weight of the hand on his shoulder steering him through the army of fur caps and heavy boots. Don't be afraid, the other man repeated. Valuska gave a quick nod and glanced up at the sky. He glanced up and suddenly had the sensation that the sky wasn't where it was supposed to be; terrified, he looked up again and confirmed the fact that there was indeed nothing there, so he bowed his head and surrendered to the fur caps and boots, realizing that it was no use to search because what he sought was lost, swallowed up by this coming together of forces, of details, of this earth, this marching.

...all normal expectations went by the board and one’s daily habits were disrupted by a sense of ever-spreading all-consuming chaos which rendered the future unpredictable, the past unrecallable and ordinary life so haphazard that people simply assumed that whatever could be imagined might come to pass, that if there were only one door in a building it would no longer open, that wheat would grow head downwards into the earth not out of it, and that, since once could only note the symptoms of disintegration, the reasons for it remaining unfathomable and inconceivable, there was nothing anyone could do except to get a tenacious grip on anything that was still tangible…

He looked tired, exhausted even, but it was as if this were the specific thing that had exhausted him, not ordinary everyday matters but one single all-consuming care; it was obviously a fatigue born out of decades of vigilance, exhaustion owing to the knowledge that any moment he might be killed by that immeasurable weight of fat.

Szédelegve nekidőlt a kocsmafalnak, elhárította a kocsmáros ajánlatát („Jöjjön csak, támaszkodjon rám, szarrá ázik itt kint, ne csinálja már…”), s csak állt bambán és üresen ebben a könyörtelen erőben, látta, de nem értette ezt a tántorgó világot maga körül, míg aztán – egy újabb félóra múlva – ahogy szinte átmosta az eső, egyszer csak azon vette észre magát, hogy kijózanodott. Befordult az épület sarkán, odaállt vizelni egy kopasz akáchoz, s ahogy közben felnézett az égre, rettentő kicsinek és gyámoltalannak érezte magát, és míg kiapadhatatlanul, férfias erővel csobogott belőle a húgy, ismét rátört a szomorúság. Kitartóan pásztázta maga fölött az eget, s arra gondolt, hogy számukra, valahol – bármilyen messze is legyen – mégiscsak véget ér ez az örökre föléjük feszített mennybolt, amiként „itt mindennek elrendelt vége van”. Mint egy ólba, gondolta, még mindig zúgó aggyal, beleszülettünk ebbe a körülkerített világba, s akárcsak a saját mocskukban hentergő disznók, mi sem tudjuk, mi végre ez a tülekedés a tápláló csecsek körül, minek ez az örökös közelharc a vályúhoz vezető sávban, vagy alkonyatkor az alvóhelyekért. Begombolkozott, s arrébb ment, hogy szabadon érje a víz. „Mossad csak öreg csontjaimat! – morogta keserűen. – Mossad, mert ez a vén hugyos nem húzza már sokáig.” S csak állt mozdulatlanul, behunyt szemmel, és hátravetett fejjel, mert szeretett volna megszabadulni ettől a makacs, újra és újra feltörő vágytól, hogy legalább most, utolsó éveiben megtudja végre, „minek is kellett ide ez a Futaki”.

İnanç, diye düşündü Eszter Bey, aslında kendi aptallığını irdelerken, aslında bir şeye inanmak değil, bunların böyle olmadığına inanmaktı ve müzik de, daha iyi olan benliğimizi ya da daha iyi bir dünyayı tanımanın aracı değil, kurtarılması mümkün olmayan benliğimizi ve acınası bir dünyayı gizlemenin ve hatta ortadan yok etmenin çılgınca bir yöntemiydi.