Nigel Cumberland Quotes

OK, so saying ‘yes’ is great – but saying ‘yes’ where you mean ‘no’ will never be a winner for you.

Successful people are the ones who say ‘yes’ when others say ‘no’. What would you say if you were offered a job promotion overseas? Would you go for it? What would you say if your partner suggested a new holiday destination, say, Greenland. Would you give it a try?

There may be moments in your life when you have to choose between ‘being liked’ and what you really want to do. Imagine your future spouse is a vegan and does not enjoy being with people who eat meat. Could you imagine putting aside your beliefs and feelings, to show support, love and understanding for your partner’s?

Try to be likeable but stay true to your self. There will be times when you have to do or say something at the expense of being popular. If you’ve built up enough goodwill, you’ll get away with it. People understand that difficult decisions have to be made and, if you’ve paid enough into your ‘likeability deposit’, they will hate the decision but not the person making it.

A truly successful life is one filled with friends so it helps if people like being around you. If you suspect they don’t, have a think about how strongly you exhibit ‘likeable’ qualities such as listening well, being trustworthy, kind, generous, compassionate, fun, positive and unselfish. The good news is that you can learn such qualities even if they don’t come naturally to you.

Your overall aim must be to try to live a stress-free life. This can involve making some difficult choices such as spending less time and energy with certain people or in particular situations. It might involve resigning from a very stress-filled job or walking away from an abusive relationship.

Stress ruthlessly puts out your dreams and robs you of your happiness. It can destroy your health, lead to tensions at home and ruin your career plans. It strikes when you are not at peace or uncomfortable with aspects of your life – and pretty much anything can bring it on.

Stress can destroy your life.

The most powerful way of being able to listen to your own intuition is by being silent. Find a quiet space, slow down and calm your mind. Your goal is to eliminate all that noise going through your head – all those thoughts that appear from nowhere.

You might find the idea of listening to your gut feelings odd or even ridiculous. Some people I coach, normally left-brain individuals who use logic and facts all day like engineers or accountants, are not used to following their intuition and feelings. Instead of asking themselves ‘What do I feel?’, they are more comfortable asking ‘What do the facts tell me?’

Do you ever consciously try to sense your gut feeling by asking yourself, ‘What do I feel about this person, situation or decision?’ Trusting your gut can help you in the workplace and beyond. The danger is when you let external noise drown out what it’s telling you, letting other people’s views and opinions take priority over your own.

Thankfully, life is a university. Everything that you do or experience can teach you something, triggering inside you new thoughts, insights and realizations. You might be inclined to forget or ignore experiences that did not go well. Don’t. Learning from your mistakes and things that cause you pain is invaluable. The greatest lessons can come from the lowest moments in your life.

‘Once you stop learning, you start dying.’ I first heard this maxim by Albert Einstein in my twenties. At the time I thought it was nonsense. How wrong I was. Learning and success are totally interlinked. Do not make the mistake of thinking that learning ends when you complete your final exams.

The business author Stephen Covey explains it well using logging as an analogy – when you are trying to saw a tree down you must take breaks to sharpen your saw. Being a workaholic and failing to do so will leave you blunt and useless.

During your typical working day how often do you stop and take a break, step away from your desk to recharge? Too few breaks can kill your productivity.