Combine a fog machine and a cotton candy maker to create delicious mystery. This is the heart of romance. - Jarod Kintz

Love is like a door knob that I’ve mistaken for a shower handle, and I’m trying to turn up the heat on our relationship, but the handle won’t turn and I’ve got shampoo in my eyes and my wetsuit is dry and I started crying just as the zookeeper asked me to leave.

I was seen spotted with an older woman and a girl half my height in age. A leopard was also spotted.

I once saw a politician walking a dog, and I thought, “How absurd — an animal walking an animal.” Then I thought, “If given the choice, I’d rather vote for the dog.