14 Quotes Tagged: golf

I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators.

I golf like a Jackson Pollock painting. I splatter my shots all over the place — and then I act like I just produced a masterpiece.

I once played golf. That day I caught five new ducks to add to my farm collection.

Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an ever smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose

TV families and your own are hard to tell apart, except your isn't interrupted every six minutes by commercials and theirs don't get bogged down into nothingness, a state where nothing happens, no skit, no zany visitors, no outburst on the laugh track, nothing at all but boredom and a lost feeling, especially when you get up in the morning and the moon is still shining and men are making noisy bets on the first tee.

Mistakes are part of the game. It's how well you recover from them, that's the mark of a great player.

I call upon all nations to do everything they can to stop these terrorist killers. Thank you. Now watch this drive.

"I shimmy so much before teeing off, people are probably thinking, "Are you going to golf — or dance?” Well, why not both?

Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.

A cigarette is just rolled up leaves, which makes it a smokable salad burrito. That makes the golfer John Daly a health advocate.

They say koala bears have tiny brains and eat grass. I say to be good at golf you must go full koala bear, and forget about all the greens you've chewed up and focus only on this hole and this swing.

I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles.

John Daly is from Arkansas, but now lives in Florida. I'm from Florida, but now I live in Arkansas. I am the inverse John Daly, and I think my golf game proves it.

Ich habe in diesen Tagen viel über Liebe nachgedacht, und darüber, wie ich das Wort hasste und es ständig wieder gebrauchte, und mir fällt ein - eine der vergänglichen Offenbarungen der Schlaflosigkeit - dass wir, ehe wir etwas lieben, uns so etwas wie eine Nachbildung davon machen müssen, ein Erinnerungsgebilde aus flüchtigen Eindrücken und Augenblicken, das alsdann seine äussere, ziemlich langweilige Erscheinung durch eine sternbildhafte Verinnerlichung ersetzt, phosporeszierend, bequem und tragbar und am Ende unempfindlich gegen den rüden Raubbau der Wirklichkeit.