6 Quotes Tagged: golfer

I once played golf. That day I caught five new ducks to add to my farm collection.

I golf like a Jackson Pollock painting. I splatter my shots all over the place — and then I act like I just produced a masterpiece.

They say koala bears have tiny brains and eat grass. I say to be good at golf you must go full koala bear, and forget about all the greens you've chewed up and focus only on this hole and this swing.

"I shimmy so much before teeing off, people are probably thinking, "Are you going to golf — or dance?” Well, why not both?

John Daly is from Arkansas, but now lives in Florida. I'm from Florida, but now I live in Arkansas. I am the inverse John Daly, and I think my golf game proves it.

A cigarette is just rolled up leaves, which makes it a smokable salad burrito. That makes the golfer John Daly a health advocate.