I get my exercise acting as pallbearer to my friends who exercise.

The only exercise I ever take is walking up hospital stairs to visit friends who've damaged themselves by taking exercise.

The only exercise I get is jumping to conclusions.

The only exercise most people get is jumping to conclusions, running down their friends, sidestepping responsibility, and pushing their luck. — UNKNOWN

Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.

Always go to other people's funerals; otherwise they won't go to yours.

I hope that famous critics will not class me with certain devotees of death and doom if I say here that I think that funerals in our churchyard gave me more entertainment than most other things when I was a little boy.

Before you are old
attend as many funerals as you can bear
and listen. Nobody talks
about the departed’s achievements. The only thing people will remember
is what kind of person you were
while you were achieving.

You should always go to other people funerals, or they wont go to yours.

Funerals are for the living,

My business is only to keep myself in motion, whilst motion pleases me; I only walk for the walk's sake.

Funerals are for the living, I have always believed, and the job of the eulogist is to acknowledge the enormity of the loss they have just suffered and to help them appreciate that the legacy and accomplishments of their loved one have not died with them.

The only ego I've got is when I'm performing.

They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad to realize that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.