Bob Hope Quotes

Culture is the ability to describe Jane Russell without moving your hands

Over the years, I have been subjected to many indignities, all for the sake of Art. If I ever catch him, I'm going to kill the guy.

If you haven't any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble.

Instead of taking a quiet nap as I should have been doing, I spent the afternoon in a teeming anthill of cutthroats, pickpockets, and shady characters who'd committed every crime in the book. Including one I couldn't forgive them for - no one asked me for my autograph.

A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?

My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?

Until you've seen them, you have no conception of their courage.

I know I'm in England because this morning, my stomach got up two hours before I did and had a cup of tea! I've had so much tea, I slosh when I walk! You have to drink tea - I've tasted the coffee!

I was on the way to my hotel, and I passed a hotel going in the opposite direction.

When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.

You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

I do benefits for all religions. I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.

Never had so little done so much for so many.

I don't feel old. I don't feel anything till noon. That's when it's time for my nap.

I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.