Jarod Kintz Quotes

Pain produces progress. So if you truly love me, you will try to hurt me as much as you can. If you really want me to grow as a person, you will water me with betrayal, abuse, neglect, derision, thievery, and possibly even torture.

I want to be the kind of person that kind people like and want to be like.

When your action is gone, and all that’s left is motionlessness, I’ll be there, whistling.

The question is, If I killed your husband, would you seek revenge, or would you send me a Thank You card? I think I know the answer, so here is my address: Jarod Kintz 12321 Karma Circle, Jax, Fl 32223.

Everyone is a salesman, and the product is each person. Personal branding is being conscious to the continual nature of selling yourself.

The year you were born marks only your entry into the world. Other years where you prove your worth, they are the ones worth celebrating.

"Most kids start talking by age two. I didn't say a word until I was twelve. I was just angry and defiant I guess. My first word wasn't "Mom" or "Dad." It was "No.

The idea of adultery is like a soccer ball. Yeah, you might kick it around for a while, but if you actually wind up scoring, you get slapped with a huge penalty.

Schrödinger’s cat was a Siamese cat, must have been, because if it’s at once alive and dead, it’s a zombie, and the only zombie cats are Siamese cats.

Jarod Kintz Day — it’s not just my birthday, but it should be a holiday that’s mandatory to celebrate, punishable by death if you don’t. It’ll be a holiday that honors freedom.

A fly can fly, so man should be called walk. If you want to make love, I’ll bring the wheelchair, if you bring the flyswatter.

Flower petals in the breeze look like a butterfly flapping its wings. My love for you takes flight like a white orchid blushing pink.

Empty packets of hot sauce remind me of the love I used to have for her. Now all I’m left with is this yummy taco.

Yesterday I memorized Shakespeare, and tomorrow I'm also going to memorize his first name.

A windmill has arms, but does not hug. Where’s the love?