Jay London Quotes

I went on a date with a weather girl, we talked up a storm.

I was lonely driving here tonight so I hugged the road.

It'll be over soon, miss.

I wanted to join the Army. The sign said "Be all that you can be." They told me it wasn't enough.

I get all my hair products at PetCo. (Jay's hair is long, curly, and quite messy)

You know what burns me? Matches.

I went to the doctor and he said I had acute appendicitis, and I said "Compared to who?"

My whole family is lactose intolerant and when we take pictures we can't say cheese.

I dated a partially nude model, and she did a half-assed job.

I recorded my hair this morning. Tonight I'm watching the highlights.

I'm on performance enhancing drugs, so I may cause drowsiness.

Flowers for $25.00, reluctant. Wining and dining for $150.00, catastrophic. Trying to get on first base, unattainable. For everything else there's Masturbate.

I told my therapist I was having nightmares about nuclear explosions. He said don't worry, it's not the end of the world.

I saw a sign that said "Left Lane Closed." So I went someplace else.

I went to a record store and asked for 50 Cent. They kicked me out for pan-handling.