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what was my real problem? I knew I was a slow learner, but I had been thinking the same way about it for years. I realized that I was trying to solve my learning problems by thinking the way I’d been taught to think — to just work harder.

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As the elephant grows, it gains more than enough power and strength to pull out the stake, but it remains tied up by something as inconsequential as a rope and a flimsy piece of metal because of what it learned as a baby. In psychology, it’s called learned helplessness.

The important distinction here is that family is a means value — a means to an end. The end value is actually love or belonging. When we look at our values, we can determine whether the value we’ve stated is an end or whether it evokes something else.

The first thing I do after I get out of bed is make the bed. This is a success habit, my first accomplishment of the day. It’s an easy win, and it has the added advantage of making my bedtime more pleasant, because it’s always nicer to return that night to a bed that is made.

You know . . . If you think about the very nature of life — I mean, in the very beginning, the development of the first cell divided into two cells — the sole purpose of life has been to pass on what was learned. There was no higher purpose. So if you’re asking me what to do with all this knowledge you’re accumulating, I say . . Pass it on.

One of the reasons children learn rapidly is because they are empty vessels; they know they don’t know. Some people who claim to have twenty years of experience have one year of experience that they’ve repeated twenty times.