Leo Rosten Quotes

I learned that it is the weak who are cruel, and that gentleness is to be expected only from the strong.

Circumcision is described as “the seal of God” — a seal in the flesh, as it were. (In the early days of Christianity, baptism was called “sealing.”) In Genesis 17:10, you may remember, the Lord says: “This is my covenant … every man child among you shall be circumcised.” And Abraham, who was a very great man, circumcised himself.

The purpose of life is not to be happy — but to matter, to be productive, to be useful, to have it make some difference that you lived at all.

​It is the weak who are cruel. Gentleness can only be expected from the strong.

There is a saying, “A patsh fargeyt, a vort bashteyt” — ”A slap passes, but a word [that is, an insult] remains.

Jews are not proselytizers.*Rabbis are required to make three separate efforts to discourage a would-be convert.

Goldene medine meant America: land of freedom, justice, opportunity — and protection against pogroms. Rarely did I hear such overtones of gratitude as went into the utterance of this compound noun.

An aveyre is the direct opposite of a mitzva, as we shall see. The words are often contrasted, as in the saying “One mitzva leads to another; an aveyre leads to an aveyre.

Happiness comes only when we push our brains and hearts to the farthest reaches of which we are capable.

Everyone, in some small sacred sanctuary of the self, is nuts.

Everyone, in some small secret sanctuary of the self, is nuts.

"I came to believe it not true that "the
coward dies a thousand deaths, the brave man
only one." I think it is the other way around:
It is the brave who die a thousand deaths.
For it is imagination, and not just conscience,
which doth make cowards of us all. Those
who do not know fear are not truly brave.
"

My mother would often end a lecture to me with the dour lament that her words were probably in vain: “Aroysgevorfne verter” (ah-ROYCE-ge-vor-f’neh VER-ter, meaning “Thrown out words”). Was ever a phrase more heartfelt?

Two Martians who had landed in America happened to run into each other. “What’s your name?” asked the first. “4286. And yours?” “3359.” “That’s funny; you don’t look Jewish.

The rabbi gets the fees, but it’s the moyl who gets all the tips.