Mark Manson Quotes

The other issue with overvaluing material success is the danger of prioritizing it over other values, such as honesty, nonviolence, and compassion. When people measure themselves not by their behavior, but by the status symbols they’re able to collect, then not only are they shallow, but they’re probably assholes as well.

Not giving a fuck does not mean being indifferent; it means being comfortable with being different.

What pain do you want in your life? What are you willing to struggle for?” Because that seems to be a greater determinant of how our lives turn out.

See, I couldn’t control her. No matter how many times I called her, or screamed at her, or begged her to take me back, or made surprise visits to her place, or did other creepy and irrational ex-boyfriend things, I could never control her emotions or her actions. Ultimately, while she was to blame for how I felt, she was never responsible for how I felt. I was. At some point, after enough tears and alcohol, my thinking began to shift and I began to understand that although she had done something horrible to me and she could be blamed for that, it was now my own responsibility to make myself happy again. She was never going to pop up and fix things for me. I had to fix them for myself. When I took that approach, a few things happened. First, I began to improve myself. I started exercising and spending more time with my friends (whom I had been neglecting). I started deliberately meeting new people. I took a big study-abroad trip and did some volunteer work. And slowly, I started to feel better.

You can have community without accountability, but you can't have accountability without community. Surround yourself with the right people and change becomes inevitable.

Acts of love are valid only if they're performed without conditions or expectations.

The better things get, the more we perceive threats where there are none, and the more upset we become. And it is at the heart of the paradox of progress.

Every dream comes with a price tag. The question is whether you're willing to pay for it or not.

Goals are the actions you think about but don’t do. Habits are the actions you do but don’t think about.
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Better goals require a lot of effort and change little. Better habits will change everything.

Because here’s something that’s weird but true: we don’t actually know what a positive or negative experience is. Some of the most difficult and stressful moments of our lives also end up being the most formative and motivating. Some of the best and most gratifying experiences of our lives are also the most distracting and demotivating. Don’t trust your conception of positive/negative experiences. All that we know for certain is what hurts in the moment and what doesn’t. And that’s not worth much.

If you have to tell someone you're that, then you're not that.

Whatever your problems are, the concept is the same: solve problems; be happy. Unfortunately,
for many people, life doesn’t feel that simple. That’s because they fuck things up in at least one of two
ways:
1. Denial. Some people deny that their problems exist in the first place. And because they deny
reality, they must constantly delude or distract themselves from reality. This may make them feel
good in the short term, but it leads to a life of insecurity, neuroticism, and emotional repression.
2. Victim Mentality. Some choose to believe that there is nothing they can do to solve their
problems, even when they in fact could. Victims seek to blame others for their problems or blame
outside circumstances. This may make them feel better in the short term, but it leads to a life of
anger, helplessness, and despair.

We must all give a fuck about something. To not give a fuck about anything is still to give a fuck about something.

Everything that matters most in life will sometimes bore you.

Your marriage will bore you.
Your career will bore you.
Your kids will bore you.

But boredom isn’t a sign that you chose wrong. It’s a signal that you have chosen to make something more important than your own momentary pleasure. It’s the hidden fee that comes with purpose and meaning.

Values underlie everything we are and do. If what we value is unhelpful, if what we consider success/failure is poorly chosen, then everything based upon those values — the thoughts, the emotions, the day-to-day feelings — will all be out of whack. Everything we think and feel about a situation ultimately comes back to how valuable we perceive it to be.