"Weird Al" Yankovic Quotes

My brothers and sisters all hated me 'cause I was an only child.

Alanis Morissette and I actually used to date. I especially liked it when we went to the movies.

If money can't buy happiness, I guess I'll have to rent it.

Look
If you had
one shot
to sit on your lazy butt
and watch all the TV you ever wanted
until your brain turned to mush
Would you go for it?
or just let it slip?
Yo

Why of course it's unlikely!' I said. 'Oh, by far!
The awesome-est things in the world often are!

Shoppin' online for deals on some writable media I edit Wikipedia

I don't really look at myself as the kind of person who craves attention, but I've never been to therapy so there's probably a lot of stuff about myself that I don't know.

Many years ago I found out something about hamburgers that really grossed me out. You may not know this, so I hope I don't make you sick, but it turns out hamburgers are actually made out of dead cows. I am not making this up. Needless to say, as soon as I discovered that, I gave up meat entirely.

I'll bet every great thinker and leader we've got
Could see all kinds of things other people could not!
So then why get upset if somebody like me
Tries to look at the world just a bit differently?

I have very mixed feelings about [Napster]. On one hand, I'm concerned that the rampant downloading of my copyright-protected material over the Internet is severely eating into my album sales and having a decidedly adverse effect on my career. On the other hand, I can get all the Metallica songs I want for FREE! WOW!!!!!

Right now I'm listening to a lot of Top 40 music, because THAT'S MY JOB.

I wrote "Eat It" because I wanted to buy a banana boat for Christmas. It worked.

I think my chances of getting into the Rock 'N' Roll Hall Of Fame are about as good as Milli Vanilli's.

I'm nerdy in the extreme Whiter than sour cream

I'm an ugly girl,
My face makes you hurl,
Sad I have it,
I should bag it.
Acne everywhere,
Unwanted facial hair.
I'm a relation to Frankenstein's creation.