Who’d cum first, you or your clone? To find out, why don’t you go fuck yourself?

Particularly on the Left, political thought is a sort of masturbation fantasy in which the world of facts hardly matters.

Kind of like the difference between making love and masturbation, I'd say.

Masturbation is the thinking man's television.

If I had a clone, he’d better be my equal, and not my better. Can you imagine how I’d feel being jealous of myself?

As much as I want to make love to you, I’d rather make love to your clone.

I watched the footage of Saddam being executed, and it really made me think…is there nothing on the internet that I won’t masturbate to?

Real scratching is superior to masturbation, in my opinion.

Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone you love.

I masturbate! I do it like I think if I keep doing it, I'm gonna win something.

Pornography….the reader panting, eventually masturbating

Miles had heard weird tales of strange relationships between people and their clones. But then, anyone who deliberately went out and had a clone made must be kinky to start with. Far more interesting to have a child, preferably with a woman who was smarter, faster, and better-looking than oneself; then there was at least a chance for a bit of evolution in the clan.

This is a strange -- and rather alarming -- realisation. For it clearly implies that masturbation is one of our highest faculties that human beings have developed. Many animals masturbate -- but never without the presence of another animal, or some similar stimulus. A human being can masturbate in an empty room: a triumph of pure imagination.

When you jerk off, you’re saying, “Hey, I care about me.”