I roundly told her to fuck off .... She fucked off. People said to me they had always wanted to say that to her, and I don’t know why they don’t as the opportunity presents itself every other minute.

At 70 years old, if I could give my younger self one piece of advice, it would be to use the words "fuck off" much more frequently.

"you can eff off, too," I say, except I don't say eff, I say what 'eff' stands for.

Luv can we off off, not off off but fuck off.

Fuck off! Just fuck off!

What is it, what can it possibly be about blowjobs and golf?

"Golf is a game where you score a 6, yell "Fore" and write down a 5."

Golf is an ineffectual attempt to put an elusive ball into an obscure hole with implements ill-adopted to the purpose.

I have given this offer more consideration than it is due already. Now, fuck off. Then keep fucking off. Fuck off until you come up to a gate with a sign saying ‘You Can’t Fuck Off Past Here.’ Climb over the gate, dream the impossible dream, and keep fucking off forever.

His theory of golf is, never play any sport that requires you to dress as your grandfather.

"I shimmy so much before teeing off, people are probably thinking, "Are you going to golf — or dance?” Well, why not both?

Golf is a mental disorder.

I love competition. I'd rather have to fight and worry than be peaceful and secure, any day. I've found that I'm a peaceful, easy-going sort of a fellow about all the small things in life. But when a big issue comes along and when I feel I'm right about it—well, I guess I'm pretty stubborn. Even nasty. I've taken up golf. I'm crazy about it. Doug Fairbanks and I play every day that we can get away from work. I not only like the game a lot, but I want to master it. I'm not satisfied just to play golf. I want to be good at it. That's the way I've come to feel about everything.

I enjoy watching other sports, like tennis and golf. I’ve only played golf once, but I like it very much. I want to distract myself from diving and learn what great athletes mean to be great. Like Roger Federer, Tiger Woods and the others.