This is the worst job on Earth

Hookers have to deliver on their promise... unlike politicians.

He thought I was a hooker!

You wanna feel bad for someone in a down-turned economy, I'll give you someone...prostitutes. Because a prostitute doesn't have that same "worst case scenario" B-plan that we all enjoy. No matter how shitty things are going for you on the job, "Danny, if they lay off anymore people, I'm gonna be out on the streets sucking dick for a living. I got nothin' else. I'm serious." Hooker doesn't have that same safety net. Hooker's already out there, sucking dicks.

I work in a hotel. I know what you’re probably thinking, and no, I am not a hooker. Not unless you’re not a cop.

Wishing, of all employments, is the worst.

I am very rude to *high status* people who are rude to waiters/waitresses. Usually twice as rude. Sometimes three times, just to make sure. You cannot believe how many pple on the "left" are rude to waiters, as they feel their "mission" insulates them from humans.

I’m the Waiter, you know!

Waiting is still an occupation. It is having nothing to wait for that is terrible.

Is it painful to be the person who waits? Or is it more painful to be the person who makes others wait? Either way, there's no need to wait anymore. That's what is most painful.

Whores' lives don't make pretty tales.

I’d love to have a shitty job. I couldn’t hold any down. Standup was the only thing I could stick with. I’m an idiot that way.

The waitress had the appearance of a very old hooker who had finally found her place in life

Elaine: Ugh, I hate people.
Jerry: Yeah, they're the worst.