Top 10 Fred Allen Quotes

I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you find yourself up there.

California's a wonderful place to live - if you happen to be an orange.

Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

What does Sullivan do? He points at people. Rub meat on actors and dogs will do the same thing.

Sullivan will be successful as long as other people have talent.

A good comedian can say things funny and other guys just say funny things.

All the sincerity in Hollywood you could stuff in a flea's navel and still have room left to conceal eight caraway seeds and an agent's heart.

I'm a little hoarse tonight. I've been living in Chicago for the past two months, and you know how it is, yelling for help on the way home every night. Things are so tough in Chicago that at Easter time, for bunnies the little kids use porcupines.

A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized

A molehill man is a pseudo-busy executive who comes to work at 9 am and finds a molehill on his desk. He has until 5 pm to make this molehill into a mountain. An accomplished molehill man will often have his mountain finished even before lunch.