Groucho Marx Quotes

I have nothing but respect for you — and not much of that.

Outside of a dog a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.

Dompet saya seperti bawang. Setiap kali saya membukanya, saya menangis.

It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.

Hail, hail Freedonia, land of the free!

Do you mind if I don't smoke?

Well, art is art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water! And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now, uh... now you tell me what you know.

Why don't you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?

I don't have a photograph. I'd give you my footprints, but they're upstairs in my socks.

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.

Hello, I must be going, I cannot stay,
I came to say, I must be going.
I’m glad I came, but just the same,
I must be going.

Boogey boogey boogey

A likely story — and probably true.

Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never meet!