Groucho Marx Quotes

If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.

Piję, by uczynić ludzi bardziej interesującym.

She's so in love with me, she doesn't know anything. That's why she's in love with me.

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.

I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

[Variant:] "Please accept my resignation. I don’t care to belong to any club that will have me as a member".

Hail, hail Freedonia, land of the free!

"Chico: "Here's the book, it's a dollar"
Groucho: "Here's a ten, and shoot the change."
Chico: "I don't have change I'd have to give you nine more books.

"Would you mind getting off that fly paper and giving the flies a chance?"
"Ahhh, you can't trick me! Flies don't read papers!"

I love to read. My education is self-inflicted

It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.