Groucho Marx Quotes

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know.

quote me as saying I was misquoted

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read

Even the intellectual crowd will have none of me. Physically, I look like one of them. Graying at the temples, I walk with a slight limp and wear thick glasses.

I like pancakes, but I haven't got a closet full of them!

That's three quotes? Add another quote and make it a gallon.

Come on in girls, and leave all hope behind.

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.

Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.

Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.

Ela está tão apaixonada por mim que não quer saber de mais nada. É por isso que está apaixonada por mim.

That's three quote? Add another quote and make it a gallon.

My experience is that people are most likely to listen to reason when in bed.