Groucho Marx Quotes

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.

No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.

Any place I hang my head is home.

I have nothing but respect for you — and not much of that.

I don’t want to belong to any club that would have me as a member.

I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a good book.

My mother loved children — she would have given anything if I had been one.

Any playwright who has been up against the agony of casting plays will tell you that the actor who can play comedy is the fellow to shoot for. The comic intuition gets to the heart of a human situation with a precision and a velocity unattainable in any other way. A great comic actor will do it for you with an inflection of voice as adroit as the flick of the wrist of a virtuoso fencer.” Nevertheless,

All geniuses die young.

I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.

"There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says "yes" you know he is a crook."

A man is only as old as the woman he feels.

I'm not a vegetarian, but I eat animals who are.

Now that I had become a man (with a leaky fountain pen to prove it), I was ready to take on the world.

I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.