Groucho Marx Quotes

I have had a wonderful time but this wasn't it.

Estos son mis principios; si no le gustan, tengo otros

She's so in love with me, she doesn't know anything. That's why she's in love with me.

Once I put it down I couldn't pick it back up.

This isn't a particularly novel observation, but the world is full of people who think they can manipulate the lives of others merely by getting a law passed.

Although it is generally known, I think it's about time to announce that I was born at a very early age.

In studying your basic metabolism, we first listen to your heart's beat, and if your hearts beat any thing but diamonds and clubs, it's because your partner is cheating, or your wife.

This isn’t a particularly novel observation, but the world is full of people who think they can manipulate the lives of others merely by getting a law passed. There are large groups in America who, if they could swing it, would prohibit the use of everything that they didn’t personally approve of — smoking, drinking, dancing, going to the movies, eating Italian salami and, if it could be regulated, even love.

quote me as saying I was misquoted

Clear? Huh! Why a four-year-old child could understand this report! Run out and find me a four-year-old child, I can't make head or tail of it.

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?

I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my agent, as written in our contract.

I like pancakes, but I haven't got a closet full of them!

A year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I've got a nickle in my pocket.

Gentlemen? If you continue to write nasty pieces about me, I shall be obliged to cancel my subscription.