Groucho Marx Quotes

Even the intellectual crowd will have none of me. Physically, I look like one of them. Graying at the temples, I walk with a slight limp and wear thick glasses.

Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.

A year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I've got a nickle in my pocket.

I find television very educational. Every time someone switches it on I go into another room and read a good book.

Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy

I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member

أعتقد أن التليفزيون وسيلة ثقافية هامة للغاية .. كلما وجدت شخصاً يقوم بتشغيله، أذهب إلى غرفة أخرى لقراءة كتاب

Go, and never darken my towels again.

We left New York drunk and early on the morning of February second. After fifteen days on the water and six on the boat we finally arrived on the shores of Africa.

I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my agent, as written in our contract.

In a Chicago cafe the other night, an elderly man passed a table.

“There goes George,” observed an onlooker. “When he was young, he was a handsome guy and had many companies. Left a wife and two kids to starve, and ran off with another woman. And now look at him. Old, broke and very sad.”

“That’s the way-it-goes,” nodded Elly Kleinman. “Time wounds all heels.

I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a good book.

I only write first editions.

Why don't you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?

Eu não sou vegetariano, mas como animais que são.