Robert Orben Quotes

Humor is the most honest of emotions. Applause for a speech can be insincere, but with humor, if the audience doesn't like it there's no faking it.

It always seems to someone outside the business that it is very difficult to write for a comedy show because it must be done quickly. Actually, it is much easier to write this humor than to do a joke or a show from scratch, because the audience knows the plot. Just mention what is going on and then deliver the punch line.

Humor gives presidents the chance to be seen as warm, relaxed persons. Humor reaches out and puts its arm around the listener and says, 'I am one of you, I understand,' and implicitly it promises, 'I will do something about your problems.'

Do you ever get the feeling that the only reason we have elections is to find out if the polls were right?

There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs, there'd be no place to put it all.

The chance to be seen as a warm, witty guy is too good an opportunity for a politician to miss.

Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.

Humor starts like a wildfire, but then continues on, smoldering, smoldering for years.

I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.

Anybody with a good sense of humor is one-up on their competition. We respond to somebody who has the ability to make us laugh. It's a bonding influence.

If you can laugh together, you can work together.

Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away.

George Bush has turned into the playboy of the Western world. He shows up at Chinese restaurants, at movies, at the Kennedy Center. He seems to be a totally relaxed, enjoy-the-moment kind of individual. He has shown a sense of playfulness that is very appealing. It shows he isn't overwhelmed by the overwhelming responsibilities he is taking on.

I'd be surprised if Ronald Reagan doesn't run again. To us it's a second term. To him it's a double feature.

Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.