Top 15 Robert Orben Quotes

Did you ever figure to be living in a time when your check is good, but the bank bounces?

Wall Street is where prophets tell us what will happen and profits tell us what did happen.

Successful salesman: someone who has found a cure for the common cold shoulder.

What bothers me about television is that it takes our minds off our minds.

I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.

Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away.

You wouldn't want Alan Greenspan to write the instructions for assembling a beach chair.

If you can laugh together, you can work together.

Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards.

Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.

A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that "individuality" is the key to success.

More than ever before, Americans are suffering from back problems: back taxes, back rent, back auto payments.

The next time you feel like complaining, remember that your garbage disposal probably eats better than 30 percent of the people in the world.

There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs, there'd be no place to put it all.

Noise pollution is a relative thing. In a city it's a jet plane taking off. In a monastery it's a pen that scratches.