Dear Miss Manners: What is the proper way to eat potato chips?
Gentle Reader: With a knife and fork. A fruit knife and an oyster fork, to be specific. Good heavens, what is the world coming to? Miss Manners does not mind explaining the finer points of gracious living, but she feels that anyone without the sense to pick up a potato chip and stuff it in their face should probably not be running around loose on the streets.

Spaghetti can be eaten most successfully if you inhale it like a vacuum cleaner.

Animals have sections in their stomachs which enable them to digest food without mastication, but human beings are supposed to chew their food before they swallow it down… So chew your food and give your salivary glands a chance to function!

This toast feels raw. Is it safe to eat raw toast?

Be careful what you swallow. Chew!

Eat your food as your medicine. Otherwise, you have to eat medicine as your food.

Always eat grapes downwards — that is, always eat the best grape first; in this way there will be none better left on the bunch, and each grape will seem good down to the last.

It has changed a bit, of course. The speed and all that. But let me tell you something: in the olden times, let's say the year, I don't know, in the Sixties for instance, we would eat a plate of spaghetti and run out onto the pitch. Then people started saying 'they're too full', meaning you'd get bloated like a pig if you ate spaghetti. But this shows you those guys were clever because nowadays all the medical experts recommend pasta for athletes and footballers because you digest it slowly.

I could eat a knob at night.

I don't like the idea of fruit being all turned on because of cream being poured on it. How then can you eat that fruit?

A man bites into a dry peach and says "This peach is not good;" the peach replies "It is not my fault that you don't know the proper use for a dry peach."

The science of physiology teaches that our very thoughts are born of what we eat. A man that lives on pork, fine-flour bread, rich pies and cakes, and condiments, drinks tea and coffee and uses tobacco, might as well try to fly as to be chaste in thought. He will accomplish wonders if he remains physically chaste; but to be mental virtuous would be impossible for him without a miracle of grace. One whose thoughts have been so long trained in the filthy ruts of vice that they run there automatically, and naturally gravitate downward-such a one must exercise especial care to secure the most simple, pure, and unstimulating diet. The following precautions are necessary to be observed in relation to diet:- 1. “Never overeat”. If too much is taken at one meal, fast the next meal the give the system a chance to recover itself and to serve as a barrier against future transgressions of the same kind. Gluttony is fatal to chastity ; an overeating will be certain to cause emissions, with other evils, in one whose organs are weakened by abuse. 2. “Eat but twice a day”, or, if supper is eaten, let it be very light, and of the most simple food, as fruit, or fruit and bread. Nothing should be eaten within four or five hours of bed-time, and it is much better to eat nothing after three o’clock. The ancients ate but two meals a day ; why should moderns eat three or four? If the stomach contains undigested food, the sleep will be disturbed, dreams will be more abundant, and emissions will be frequent. A most imperative rule of life should be, “ever go to bed with a loaded stomach.” The violation of this rule is the great cause of horrid dreams and nightmare. 3. “Discard all stimulating food.” Under this head must be included, spices, pepper, ginger, mustard, cinnamon, cloves, essences, all condiments, salt, pickles, etc., together with animal food of all kinds, not excepting fish, fowl, oysters, eggs, and milk. It is hardly to be expected that all who have been accustomed to use these articles all their lives will discard them wholly at once, nor, perhaps, that many will ever discard them entirely ; but it would be better for them to do so, nevertheless. The only ones which should be tolerated under any circumstances should be lean beef or mutton, salt in very moderate quantities, and a moderate use of milk. Use as little of these as possible-“the less the better.” 4.”Stimulating drinks” should be abstained form with still greater strictness. Wine, beer, tea, and coffee should be taken under no circumstances. The influence of coffee in stimulating the genital organs is notorious. Chocolate should be discarded also. It is also recommended by some who suppose it to be harmless, being ignorant of the fact that it contains a poison practically identical with that of tea and coffee. Hot drinks of all kinds should be avoided. Tobacco, another stimulant, though not a drink, should be totally abandoned at once. 5. In place of such articles as have been condemned, eat fruits, grains, and vegetables. There is a rich variety of these kinds of food, and they are wholesome and unstimulating. Graham flour, oatmeal, and ripe fruit are the indispensables of a dietary for those who are suffering from sexual excesses.

EAT YOUR OWN FRUIT A disciple once complained, “You tell us stories, but you never reveal their meaning to us.” Said the master, “How would you like it if someone offered you fruit and masticated it before giving it to you?” No one can find your meaning for you. Not even the master.

I eat right and stay completely off junk food. Although, I eat very well and most importantly, I don’t do late night foods. I don’t eat after 6pm and I take my stay fit herbal tea twice daily; that keeps me feeling healthy and clean on the inside. I also snack on fruits.