Bill Allred Quotes

Wouldn't you like a nose like his full of quarters?

Radio From Hell: A great alternative to toilet paper.

What do you mean I can’t sleep with this hooker in the basement?

I've got a powerful thirst for some of that lactation.

Take my prostate, please!

If I'm gonna poke something into it, it's not going to be my finger.

I'm Bill Allred, Painter of Light.

Nothing will wilt spinach like an Egyptian fart.

Billy Dee Williams once had a one-night stand with Neil Simon.

Don't you know who I am!? I'm Chetwar Balabafoo!

It's folks what juggle fire.

My prostate thanks the car wash.

We used to make condoms out of snow tires.

I let the baby drink the butter.

Nothing cleans my palette like a polka.