Top 15 Bill Engvall Quotes

Engvall: Yesterday, my son was out in the yard playing with his friend, and he hit his friend. I walked up to him, and I said, "Hey..." (pantomimes hitting his son) "We don't hit". He looked at me like, "Here's your sign, Dad".

at the Engvalls' home, Travis is about to play on the piano.

As told in the final section of the Blue Collar Comedy Tour Christmas CD:

Larry's grandmother has died at age 104

Ron White's son is going on a direct flight from Austin, Texas to Houston, Texas to see his grandparents. Ron is talking to the flight attendant.

Jeff Foxworthy is having his house repainted and he has a piano in the corner

Jeff's, Larry's, and Ron's Heres Your Sign.

Bill is at the pet store, buying a big bag of cat litter

Tow truck is pulling Bill's car out of his driveway

Bill and his brother-in-law had shot a deer and drove it in to get processed. At a rest stop, a woman stops at the truck

Bill and Larry The Cable Guy walk by a stone that Bill's neighbor had had 1894, his address, carved into it.

After Bill is exhausted at a baseball fantasy camp, walking crooked.

A friend bought two cakes for his wife's birthday, with a "3" on one and an "8" on the other.

Engvall and his wife have, for three days, had a cement truck in their yard to re-do their porch.

In the store, Bill is buying some pants.