Darby Conley Quotes

Thank you, o can opener, for this can which you are about to open. You are truly a beautiful can opener, and though I am not worthy of you, I love you.

He's an FBI Bomb Dog!!! Do you know how cool that is?! That's the people equivalent of like if Paul Newman was a fire-fighting, baby-kissing rock square!

I call this "Ode to a Pigeon": Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, You lookin' at me? You lookin' at me?!

Do I live here? ...if not, would you still feed me? (Example 3 of why Satchel isn't allowed outside)

I regret that you have but one pie to give for my tummy. (Famous cat quotes)

A bad writer is just a good writer with writer's block.

Now you listen to me, you little party favor, I'm sick of your rotten attitude! I let you call me names and push me around because I consider you my friend, but I'm sure that if I wanted to, I could throw you around like a chew toy!!!

I tell ya, man, your cat is officially out of control. He really gives new meaning to the term tempest in a teapot.

Holy cow! You were totally right-- whipped cream rocks!

Ohhh, get 'im off me, Satchel!

You can wordify anything if you just verb it.

Do not go gentle into that cold bath! (Famous cat quotes)

It is true that you may fool all the people some of the time, you can fool some of the people all the time, but you can not fool all of the people all the time... Dogs, on the other hand, with them all you need to do is flick your wrist and they run off looking for some stupid tennis ball. (Famous cat quotes)

Ethics are so annoying. I avoid them on principle.

Robert, you are so wrong, philosophers weep at the sound of your voice.