Top 15 Darby Conley Quotes

I tell ya, man, your cat is officially out of control. He really gives new meaning to the term tempest in a teapot.

Oh, Bucky... You're so tiny, yet you're such a massive nutjob...

Now you listen to me, you little party favor, I'm sick of your rotten attitude! I let you call me names and push me around because I consider you my friend, but I'm sure that if I wanted to, I could throw you around like a chew toy!!!

He's an FBI Bomb Dog!!! Do you know how cool that is?! That's the people equivalent of like if Paul Newman was a fire-fighting, baby-kissing rock square!

Is that food? ...that looks like food... I think I'll taste it. (Example 5 of why Satchel isn't allowed outside)

Do I live here? ...if not, would you still feed me? (Example 3 of why Satchel isn't allowed outside)

Ohhh, your real name is "Brad"?! I only knew you by what Rob calls you around the house: "big dumb *#%$". (Example 2 of why Satchel isn't allowed outside)

Oh-ho-ho-man! I could sit here and smell this pole all day, I kid you not! (Example 1 of why Satchel isn't allowed outside)

Holy cow! You were totally right-- whipped cream rocks!

This is the line for the hydrant, right?

I think... therefore I am annoyed.

I call this "Ode to a Pigeon": Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, You lookin' at me? You lookin' at me?!

OK, monkey, it's just you and me... I'll give you time to pray to your big, filthy monkey god before I food you.

You can wordify anything if you just verb it.

Ohhh, get 'im off me, Satchel!