Darby Conley Quotes

Do I live here? ...if not, would you still feed me? (Example 3 of why Satchel isn't allowed outside)

Ethics are so annoying. I avoid them on principle.

Ahhhh... Satchel, my boy, there's nothin' like a tuna smoothie on a hot summer day...

I regret that you have but one pie to give for my tummy. (Famous cat quotes)

Holy cow! You were totally right-- whipped cream rocks!

There are two kinds of cartoonists in the world today—those who started out by ripping off The Far Side, and those who won't admit that they've ever ripped off The Far Side, probably because they're still doing it (some people rip off Calvin and Hobbes or Bloom County, of course, but they all started by ripping off The Far Side).

Now you listen to me, you little party favor, I'm sick of your rotten attitude! I let you call me names and push me around because I consider you my friend, but I'm sure that if I wanted to, I could throw you around like a chew toy!!!

Is that food? ...that looks like food... I think I'll taste it. (Example 5 of why Satchel isn't allowed outside)

Is that drooling problem you have due to genetic inbreeding, or are you just really attracted to me? (Example 1 of why Bucky isn't allowed out in public)

This is the line for the hydrant, right?

Robert, after spending 48 hours with this fish, we have transcended the conventional "food-to-consumer" relationship. This fish is now my friend.

I think... therefore I am annoyed.

I tell ya, man, your cat is officially out of control. He really gives new meaning to the term tempest in a teapot.

Two slugs slithered on a yellow wood,
And sorry that I could not trample both,
Being one trampler, long I stood
And looked them down as fierce as I could
To where they sat in the undergrowth... I will be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere sitting upon a fence:
Two slugs slithered on a yellow wood
And I-- I ate the slug less trampled by,
And that has made all the difference. (Famous cat quotes)

Oh-ho-ho-man! I could sit here and smell this pole all day, I kid you not! (Example 1 of why Satchel isn't allowed outside)