Robert A. Glover Quotes

By trying to please everyone, Nice Guys often end up pleasing no one — including themselves.

Humans connect with humans. Hiding one's humanity and trying to project an image of perfection makes a person vague, slippery, lifeless, and uninteresting. I often refer to Nice Guys as Teflon Men. They work so hard to be smooth, nothing can stick to them. Unfortunately, this Teflon coating also makes it difficult for people to get close. It is actually a person's rough edges and human imperfections that give others something to connect with.

As a result of this dependency, every child's greatest fear is abandonment. To children, abandonment means death. Second,

The seeking of external validation is just one way in which Nice Guys frequently do the opposite of what works. By trying to please everyone, Nice Guys often end up pleasing no one — including themselves.

Just about everything a Nice Guy does is consciously or unconsciously calculated to gain someone's approval or to avoid disapproval.

Good sex consists of two people taking full responsibility for meeting their own needs. It has no goal. It is free of agendas and expectations. Rather than being a performance, it is an unfolding of sexual energy. It is about two people revealing themselves in the most intimate and vulnerable of ways. Good sex occurs when two people focus on their own pleasure, passion, and arousal, and stay connected to those same things in their partner. All of these dynamics allow good sex to unfold in unpredictable, spontaneous, and memorable ways.

Relationships are messy and there is no way to eliminate the bumps and potholes, but we don't have to make them any more difficult than they already are.

Telling the truth is not a magic formula for having a smooth life. But living a life of integrity is actually easier than living one built around deceit and distortion.

Recovery from the Nice Guy Syndrome is dependent on revealing one's self and receiving support from safe people. It is essential, therefore, that men who want to break free from the Nice Guy Syndrome find safe people to assist them in this process.

Self-respect, courage, and integrity look good on a man. As recovering Nice Guys chart their own

There are no perfect relationships. There are no perfect partners. Relationships by their very nature are chaotic, eventful, and challenging.

In dog obedience school we learned that if you want an undesirable behavior to go away, you stop paying attention to it.

He takes responsibility for getting his own needs met. •​He is comfortable with his masculinity and his sexuality. •​He has integrity. He does what is right, not what is expedient. •​He is a leader. He is willing to provide for and protect those he cares about. •​He is clear, direct, and expressive of his feelings. •​He can be nurturing and giving without caretaking or problem-solving. •​He knows how to set boundaries and is not afraid to work through conflict.

Choose one area in which you have been out of integrity. Identify your fear that keeps you from telling the truth or doing the right thing. Reveal this situation to a safe person. Then go and tell the truth or do what you have to do to make the situation right. Tell yourself you can handle it. Since telling the truth may create a crisis for you or others, have faith that everyone involved will survive this crisis.

When recovering Nice Guys decide they will no longer settle for anything less than good sex, they begin to take responsibility for doing something different. •​They let go of the concept of being a great lover. •​They practice being clear and direct. •​They choose available partners. •​They don't settle for scraps. •​They decide that bad sex is not better than no sex!