Bill Allred Quotes

I'm afraid of passing out in the pit.

Her and her colostomy bag look forward to spending the holidays together.

I saw a picture of Lou Reed and David Bowie standing together and it looked like an AD for jerky.

I always thought Steve Guttenberg had crabs.

My prostate thanks the car wash.

Apparently they have The Clap at The Planetarium.

You treat your food like a scab.

People who read my magazine wax their turtles all the time. - as Larry Flynt

I'm gonna go home and spank the clown.

There isn't anything on you, body or brain, that thinks.

I've got a woolly worm for ya!

I'm not a bottom poker and I never have been.

Wouldn't you like a nose like his full of quarters?

Let's go stomp those weirdies for Jesus!

Nothing will wilt spinach like an Egyptian fart.