Craig Ferguson Quotes

In 1963 the BBC premiered a show about an alien Who traveled through space and time to combat the powers of evil. … The show has been running in Britain almost fifty years, with many different actors in the role of The Doctor. … One thing is consistent though and this is why the show is so beloved by geeks and nerds — It's all about the triumph of intellect and romance over brute force and cynicism! Intellect and romance over brute force and cynicism! And if there is any hope for any of us in this giant explosion in which we inhabit then surely that’s it: Intellect and romance triumph over brute force and cynicism!

The problem with suicide is that it seems so flamboyant. It’s camp. You have to be a bit of a drama queen to ever seriously consider it.

[The Secretariat horse character reveals his true identity, and it happens to be Bob Newhart.]

[referring to a category of people he might have upset with a joke] I'm looking forward to your letters...

I did have a love for literature that overpowered my hatred of the people who taught it, and I think because I had no respect for the teachers, their attitude didn’t poison the writing that I was discovering for myself.

[referring to a suggestive comment aimed at the audience] You too, ladies.

Appear tougher or cooler or funnier than you feel and there is a chance you’ll make it.

It's a great day for America, everybody.

You don't say 'we're suspending the campaign'! You can't say that! We didn't sus-, you can't, it's the democratic process! We didn't suspend it for 9/11, we didn't suspend it for Pearl Harbor, we didn't suspend it for the Nazis, we didn't suspend it for the damn British! We don't do that in America! We don't! There's no suspending the campaign! Democracy first! First, first, first! First! Democracy, FIRST!

Whaa, I'm Brad Pitt. I'll crush you." [audience laughs] "With my hand!

Another innocent victim of my pointless rage.

Craig Ferguson: Do you do therapy?
Hugh Laurie: I see a gentleman once a week.
Craig Ferguson: I love it, I'm a great convert.
Hugh Laurie: Therapy?
Craig Ferguson: No, just seeing a gentleman once a week.

Like most sharks, Margaret liked to think of herself as a victim of the cruel sea.

Between safety and adventure I choose adventure.

Love at first sight is not rare, in fact it is extremely common, it happens to some people a few times a year. The feeling of “what if” when meeting the eyes of a stranger can be love unrecognized.